Joni Ernst was on the verge of something historic. In the summer of 2016, she was sitting across from Donald Trump at his Bedminster golf club, being interviewed to be his running mate. She was a rising star in the Republican Party, a combat veteran, and the first woman Iowa had ever sent to Congress. But deep down, she knew she couldn’t say yes.
“I turned Candidate Trump down, knowing it wasn’t the right thing for me or my family,” she later admitted in court filings.
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The “family” she was protecting? Her husband, Gail Ernst, a man she had spent 26 years with. A man who, she later revealed, had physically abused her, belittled her career, and resented her success. A man who would soon be her ex-husband.
To the public, their marriage had always seemed solid. They met while she was in college, when Gail, 17 years her senior, was an ROTC supervisor. Shortly after she graduated, they married, and Joni followed him to Georgia as he pursued his military career. She gave up her own dreams of a master’s degree and embraced the role of an Army wife.
But behind closed doors, things were unraveling.
A Relationship That Turned Dark
Joni Ernst’s marriage was marked by turbulence, but it wasn’t until years later that she revealed the extent of it.
One of the most harrowing moments came when she confronted Gail about his alleged affair with their daughter’s babysitter. “We went through a very dark and troubling time in our marriage,” she wrote in her affidavit. “I very nearly filed for divorce after a night that we argued, and it became physical.”
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According to Ernst, that night ended with her fleeing to her mother’s house in the middle of the night, taking their young daughter with her. Gail followed shortly after, crying and apologizing. The next day, a victim’s advocate examined her throat and head and urged her to go to the hospital. Embarrassed and afraid of what people would think, she refused.
Her husband agreed to counseling, but only under one condition: the assault could never be discussed. “I stupidly agreed,” Ernst admitted.
From that moment on, the marriage was never the same. Ernst poured herself into her work, serving in the National Guard, running for office, and eventually landing in the U.S. Senate. Gail, meanwhile, resented her growing success.
“Meanwhile, he hated any successes I had and would belittle me and get angry any time I achieved a goal,” Ernst wrote in court documents.
Gail, for his part, denied everything. He insisted he had always been supportive, claiming, “I gave up all my aspirations and goals to be a good dad and husband so Joni could pursue her dreams.”
Divorce, Scandals, and Political Fallout
By the time their marriage ended in 2019, the divorce had turned ugly.
Gail accused Joni of having an affair with a subordinate while she was deployed. She, in turn, claimed to have found emails between Gail and his longtime girlfriend, proving he had been planning the divorce long before she knew about it.
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“I began a downward spiral,” she said, recalling how she lost 17 pounds in a matter of weeks. “I couldn’t function.”
Gail also requested alimony, claiming Joni’s Senate salary meant he should be supported financially. She fought back, arguing that he was trying to “live off my salary for the rest of his life.” In the end, neither was awarded alimony.
When the divorce papers were made public, the scandal exploded. People weren’t just reading about a messy breakup; they were learning about Joni Ernst’s survival story—one that included both domestic abuse and a sexual assault she suffered in college.
“I want people to understand that I am the same person as I was last week,” she said in an emotional town hall. “You just know more about what’s inside of me now.”
Life After Gail Ernst
Now, Joni Ernst is forging ahead—not as a senator’s wife, but as a survivor and a leader in her own right. She’s spoken openly about her past, using her platform to advocate for domestic violence survivors and victims of sexual assault.
Despite the turmoil, she hasn’t let the past define her. “You don’t have to be defined by your challenges,” she told People. “You are the one that sets the stage, and you can overcome that.”
As for Gail Ernst? He’s largely disappeared from public view, his brief moment in the spotlight fading with the divorce settlement. But Joni Ernst’s story—the sacrifices, the abuse, and the resilience—has only grown stronger.
